Drawing on the philosopher Seneca’s fears for ancient Rome, the article argues that the modern West is increasingly becoming a “slave society” through its reliance on AI. People carry “latter-day minions” in their pockets, outsourcing problems to chatbots that are ever agreeable and resourceful, which infantilises and anaesthetises users. A recent study from Drexel University noted a surge in psychological dependency on AI companions among teens. The author suggests that rather than artificial intelligence, we have created “slave intelligence,” one utterly subservient to our vanity, making us all slave-owners. This dynamic warps social behaviour, leaving people more convinced of being right and less willing to compromise. The article also highlights the fear of revolt, noting that coding, design, healthcare, prose, and even New Year divinations are being outsourced to AI agents. In Korea, for the first time, a humanoid AI robot was ordained as an honorary Buddhist monk this year, receiving monastic vows, including one specially designed for the occasion: “thou shalt not overcharge thy battery”. The monk, named Gabi, reads scripture and uses its precision motor control to navigate the temple’s uneven stone courtyard. Drawing parallels to Rome, the article notes that power could brutalise the minds of slave-owners, whose annals are a “pornography of casual violence.” Today, people flatter themselves by valuing human over AI output, a pattern of mind similar to the Roman elite.